So, it's obviously been a while since I last blogged. I'm sure most people figured that this blog was dead, which to be honest, I thought so too sometimes. But there's a reason for my crazy long sabbatical. Several reasons, actually.
I feel like I should share this,though I will try to condense it down, which is hard since I like things with details. You can also look at it as "Why My 24th Year of Life Should Be Erased," but I know that these particular struggles are part of me and contribute to who I am now. I'm going to put out a disclaimer that this is going to be a long post and I do apologize. Scan read if you want to get the jist of things, I just feel like I need to get it out there. My own personal form of therapy, I suppose.
When I last blogged, it was Valentine's Day of 2012. I wrote that I didn't think of being single as defining me and was happy to focus on me. Funny thing about that, when you aren't looking, someone appears. He appeared two days after I made that post.
Because I neither had much time or desire to go scour bars for a date, I turned to what is becoming increasingly common among singles out there, online dating. Not quite how I had imagined meeting someone, and spoiler alert here, as I am unattached, I still suppose it's not necessarily the only way I'll meet someone, but there he was. We emailed back and forth for about two weeks before exchanging numbers. First night we spoke off of email ended up texting til like 2am, despite his having work in the morning, and us deciding to meet up for drinks the next evening. In that first week, we went out 3 times. It was easy conversation, there was attraction, I smiled a lot. I wondered if these good vibes were what all those rom-coms I enjoyed watching were based on.
Now if you start dating someone around your birthday, it's tricky. Do you tell them your plans and invite them, which opens up the step of meeting a good amount of your friends when you are barely getting to know each other, or not mention it at all? I went with telling and inviting, but only if he wanted to, no pressure if he couldn't make it because of working late (which ended up being what happened). He did check in during the day, when I was at dinner, and then waited up til 1:30am to check if I got home alright since there was definitely endless pitchers of sangria at dinner. I entered my 24th year optimistic that it was going to be a great one.
That turned out to be a bit of a joke.
The very next day was going good. The day passed rather uneventfully and in the evening I went to work to pick up my paycheck. While there I get a text from one brother to call the other. I panic immediately, because something has to be wrong. The baby that was due in June had passed and the family was on the way to the hospital. I was minutes away from the hospital and sped over, praying that maybe it was wrong, maybe it wasn't true. I got to the hospital after my parents and was waiting for my other brother and sister in law to arrive before going in, but as I walked towards the hospital I saw my brother with my parents and knew that no, this wasn't a dream, it wasn't wrong. I texted friends I knew would pray for us as we sat in the dim lobby. I choose to believe that God told the boy (yes he can be called that because even though he was older, his ultimate actions are that of a child), that I needed something at that moment, because my phone lit up with his name on the screen. I answered, and explained where I was, and he offered kind words and comfort, and stayed up texting me while I was there and when I went to brother's house to stay with his dog for the night until I was able to sleep. The next day, I didn't go to work, opting to be in and out of sleep all day. Once he found I hadn't gone to work when he texted me from his hike adventure with friends, he checked in every hour to see if I was ok. I was amazed that in a short time of knowing one another, to have that kind of support at such a delicate time.
So we kept dating. The family worked through the shock, but as the family is, got through it together. We had a service for her. I started an internship while continuing to work retail. It was kind of a lot to balance the two jobs, but I made it work. Thought things were going ok again and sort of getting back to normal. I returned the favor of emotional support for a family crisis for him. I went to Stagecoach the last weekend of April, feeling good, spending the evening before I left with the boy, making some plans for when I got back.
May 1st, day after I got back, grandfather passed away. Found it to be cancer that had invaded his liver, a silent attack, that due to his Alzheimer's, couldn't express if he had been in pain or not feeling well. My regret is that I was gone that weekend and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, but I believe I will see him again. I didn't talk to anyone really that day. In the evening, I sent the boy a message as to what happened since I didn't think I could say the words. Nothing. Days passed and I heard nothing. SERIOUSLY? So not only do I have death going on, but I get to have a cowardly breakup to go with it? Classy guy right there. I had an alumni event that I went to days after this happened, and that was a poor choice. I just felt emotionally not ok, but the 2 hour drive to and from San Diego listening to sad music was therapeutic. With the encouragement of friends, I sent a message to the boy, letting him know that he was a jerk and a coward for doing the one thing we both said we wouldn't do-the disappearing act and that I deserved WAY better than that. It was my form of closure, which to this day goes unanswered, which is so much worse than just saying "Hey, I don't think we should see each other anymore."
In August I ended my internship. I am grateful for what I learned there, but I was trying to find a full time job.
Around November, I started having weird leg pain. It was mostly behind my knee, but in my calf as well. I finally went to the doctor, and I asked her the possibility of it being a blood clot, since my brother's first showed up when he was 22. She said that wasn't possible and without much examination, decided it was "probably just a cyst" and very common.
The pain didn't go away, it becoming increasingly more difficult to walk. Since at Christmas I help run the front end line at work, I wasn't in pain standing there, but if I sat and rested it, getting back up again was very painful. I went to Disneyland a few days before Christmas and, not going to lie, that was kind of rough just because of leg pain. Christmas Eve, I worked the morning and was off at 5pm. That evening when I was home with the family, I lifted my pant leg up and my brother Paul, who has had blood clots for years, noted that my leg was swollen. He poked my ankle and it pitted some, which he said I should probably go to the doctor again.
In January, I managed to get the last appointment with my doctor on 1/18/13. By the time that appointment came, I had a lump on my calf that hurt if pressure was put on it and you could see on my leg. This time she poked that some, then decided that an X-ray and ultrasound were finally in order. I had to go to Baldwin Park Kaiser, since it was a full hospital to get an ultrasound in the vascular surgery depeartment. I had to wait for their office to call me for an appointment, and the scheduled it for 1/25/13.
That day came and I went in to find it was only a consult with a physician's assistant and a vascular surgeon to determine if I needed an ultrasound. They had no idea what the lump on my leg was, and thought that since they could feel something, that it couldn't be a deep blood clot, but a superficial one that would clear on it's own, so to take a NSAID round the clock for 3 days and do warm compresses and scheduled me to get an ultrasound on February 18th.
They made it seem like there was nothing to be concerned about, so when February 18th rolled around, I didn't eat breakfast since I had the first appointment of the day for ultrasound and the following consult with the surgeon. Mom took me to the appointment with the promise of going out for breakfast after. I was the only one in the waiting area & called in for the ultrasound. It was a guy a few years older than myself. It was a dark room and I was laying on the table with the sheet covering from my stomach to mid thigh and he took his ultrasound wand and went groin to ankle on the inside then back up the outside of my leg. He didn't say anything really, which now I realize should have been my warning sign, and when I was done and dressed he said to just go back to waiting room. When they called me back, Mom asked if I wanted her to come with, but I said no, it was probably going to be fine and a quick in and out.
Wrong. The doctor came in and just stood there staring at my legs. And he just looked at me and said "We didn't think this was going to be what we found at all," and went on to tell me I had a deep vein thrombosis (blood clot) in my thigh and the best course was to check into the hospital overnight and let them do a few more tests, but I could do outpatient as well, but would have to come back if tests showed clots elsewhere. I may have been 24, but I asked for my mommy and he went out into the waiting room to get her. She said it was just a night so I could do that. So I consented and within minutes was up in a patient room, getting hooked up to an IV, told I couldn't eat or drink anything until they said so, and getting turned into a pin cushion with all the blood tests the lab kept coming in to take.
One of the things I had to get done was get a CT-scan to see how far up the clot went. They said if it was just in the leg, then I'd just be started on blood thinners, learn to give myself supplemental heparin shots and sent home the next day. If it was in my pelvis or higher, that would equal a week long stay and a more radical course of treatment. I got the scan (really weird sensation from the dye they inject into your body) and waited a long time for results. Since Mom hadn't eaten either and I wanted some socks & a sweatshirt if I was going to stay all night, I sent her home while waiting. When the doctor came in, the news was that the clots went up into my pelvis and I had a team prepping down in radiology for an angioplasty. I was alone for this news, so immediately text my brothers at work, as well as my friend in nursing school that called and texted me frantically after I put up on Facebook that I was going to be staying overnight. She kind of talked me through why they were doing it since I got lost in medical talk & partially stopped listening out of fear. Then my other friend Jo, who's grandmother was in the same hospital as a patient in ICU, texted me and I told her what was happening. She called her mom and stepdad to go to me. My parents and her parents arrived the same time my wheelchair ride down did, so they prayed over me and we all went down to radiology.
I have no idea how long the surgery took, even though I was fully awake for it. When I was out, my parents came in the hold area while they got me a room in the ICU. I had a tube placed in my vein to blast heparin directly to the clots to thin them, which meant that I had to keep my leg perfectly straight at all times, so had to lay on my back, which is so not comfortable. My brother Bradley and sister in law Christie had come to the hospital as well, so rode to ICU with me and the parents. Since it was just about 7pm, they couldn't stay long, since ICU was closed from 7am-10am and 7pm-9pm for visitors. Mom left but came back that night to stay with me.
ICU was an experience. I got blood tests every 3 hours, which meant every 3 hours they came in to stab me and take blood, but since they couldn't find veins for some reason and blood thinners make you bruise like a peach, my hand was purple the next day. I had heart monitors, blood pressure monitors, 4 IV lines (2 in the arm, 2 in the leg), a catheter, all the fun stuff. The nurses would all come in and say "But you are so young, you are awake, why are you here?" since everyone else on the floor was unconscious and significantly older then me. Because I had to go down the next day to check if the clot was dissolved, that meant no food until the tube was out of me. Since I hadn't eaten since noon on Sunday, I had a massive headache to go along with all that. My nurse gave me morphine, but no sleep for me since they came in so often to take blood, and my nurse felt it necessary to wash my face at 5am.
After 3 days in ICU, they removed the IVs in my leg and I no longer had to lay on my back and was allowed to get up and move around. I moved the their step down unit and was finally given food. After spending an overnight there, I was transferred to a regular room where they assumed I'd be for a day or two. Turned out I was there a whole extra week since they were having issues getting my blood thin enough. They'd up my dosage and my blood level would get thicker. I cannot thank my friends and family enough for visiting me during the whole ordeal. From calls/texts when I said I was going to be spending an overnight, then visits starting the very next day. Bringing me food when I was allowed to have food again. Sending chocolates and balloons, bringing me flowers. But there was hardly a day that went by that I had no visitors at all. I felt the love and support from them all. Finally March 1st, I was released back into the real world.
Being a week before my 25th birthday, I was really struggling with this sudden change of status in my life. I was facing the potential of a lifetime of medication, a serious issue. What would this mean for my future? Would I be out of luck if I ever wanted to have a child? Would I even find someone that would accept this detail about me? It's a small thing in that it's controllable and no one can tell by looking at you that something is wrong, yet it's a huge thing at the same time. Emotions of the unknown, combined with my already panicked feelings of not having accomplished what I thought I would at the impending age of 25 had me in a relatively dark place. I was mad at God. I didn't understand why this had happened. Why my efforts to change what I didn't like were going to dead ends. I made no plans to celebrate any aspect of my birthday and spent it sitting on the couch doing nothing, until my friend came and took me for a birthday pizookie.
A few weeks after that, on St. Patrick's day, Jo took me to a small Christian young adult group game night. Everyone there was welcoming and nice and friendly. It was the environment and the people that I needed to be around. I went each week that I was able to, and although I was very quiet and reserved, every week it was 'So glad you were here' which helped boost my spirits and I am so grateful to them all. I will admit I haven't seen many of them since July as my work schedule changed to working every Sunday (a Sunday only job will do that) but hope that once that job is over I can go back and surround myself with these amazing individuals again.
This past spring brought joys to our family. First my oldest brother and his wife had a successful IVF treatment and were expecting. Then, after being suspicious on Easter, it was confirmed that my other brother and wife were also expecting, they were having a boy and would be due before my other brother. So this July we welcomed Stephen Szeto Hutchins and in September we welcomed Nathan Burton Hutchins. We have been so incredibly overwhelmed with love for these two little boys. I'm so excited that they are going to have one another to grow up with and have as an almost sibling,. I can't believe they are 5 months and 3 months as I write this. Time flies with them growing and changing everyday.
This summer also brought a job opportunity for me that I applied for without overthinking the way I normally do. Through my brother's friend, I got a job working for the NFL. Yes, that NFL. Most people look at me and go 'The NFL as in......?" and I confirm the National Football League. The one that brings you football every Sunday, Monday and Thursday. On the surface level, I have every man's dream job. I get paid watching football games. But I do actually do other things than watch the game. We look for drops of feed, check radio feeds, mobile feeds, chat with customer support for any issues they've seen, check issues Twitter users tweet at us. When I work in the evenings I check that games' archives post properly. I went into this job with basically no knowledge of football, but I've definitely picked it up and like watching it. My mother said they should be concerned when I was sitting here cheering on a team and being aware of what was going on. My brothers have never been more proud of me. Only took 25 years to earn the love of my older brothers. (Kidding, they loved me when I was really little and stupid so would get them things and do everything for them because I didn't know better. So maybe it's been like 15 years. Haha Kidding again, I know they love me even if they don't outright say so).
So here we are, days before the end of 2013, which although started roughly, has been pretty amazing overall. After more blood tests spread out over a few months, it was determined that the May-Thurner Syndrome (a physical abnormality of my veins) they believe caused the initial clots combined with thicker than normal blood I apparently have, that I will be on blood thinners for life as a precaution to having to go through this again. I was reassured multiple times that I would still be able to have children, there are safe alternatives to Coumadin for me to take that would not harm a baby. I even found forums online of mothers that have safely had children having blood clotting issues so I feel better about that knowing that although rare, I'm not the only one.
I survived another Christmas in retail, much easier when you your leg isn't in complete pain for the whole season, but came the the conclusion that this has to be the last one. I know I can do so much more, even if I don't know where to start, I know that I need to take some risks and get out there and fight like crazy to get what I want and be happy. Life is too short to spend it sitting around waiting for change. (Sorry for an end of the year cliche, but I'm lacking any creative way of putting it). A suggestion that's been made to me many times I decided to finally research and more seriously consider: selling baked goods at farmer's markets. It may not happen until next fall or whatever, but it doesn't hurt to save and try. If it doesn't go well, then I'll know and not be holding out hope of opening a bakery because I learn it's not for me. I want to improve my decorating skills as well prior to doing this since presentation really makes a difference when it comes to baked goods.
One of the other things I have in mind for 2014 is travel. I haven't really taken a vacation in a long time. I've saved money up the last few years and hope that watching prices and such, I can possibly go and see somewhere I've never been before. I have so many places I want to see and would be willing to go to, so it will probably just come down to the best deal I can find.
Thanks for listening..er..reading my ramblings on the last almost two years from my last post. It helps to get it out there, even though many find it odd to share such personal details with the world. It was therapeutic to get it out there and maybe if we haven't talked in a while, this catches you up to my life more so than a simple status update on Facebook does. Stay tuned for a revival on the blog. I'm hoping to get back into it, improve my writing/narrative skills in case that novel I started in college ever has a hope of becoming a reality. If not, one of my friends and I have decided I could probably have some sort of stand up routine/write a script of some sort based on my life and both our dating lives out of the sheer ridiculousness of most of the situations we have had. Oh and the many stories you get from multiple years in retail. I mean don't get me wrong, customer service is definitely interesting, was essentially what I majored in, and you can meet some really amazing people (I have favorite customers), but sometimes it's mind blowing what people convince themselves of & will fight to the ground about it all and then expect me to grovel at their feet. If you are mad the price of the jam you like went up, I'm sorry but I didn't raise the price and I'm sorry if you feel like you don't want to shop here anymore because of it, but there isn't much I can do about it. (Yes, that happened). The world no longer works on a haggling/barter system so I can't just raise or lower prices based on the behavior of the person standing before me.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Valentine's Explanation
So I owe it to everyone to come clean on my feelings on Valentine's Day.
Yes, it is a commercialized holiday in which this is the one day to tell people how much you love them, never mind the other 364 days of the year. I mean seriously, do you just keep it to yourself and never say "I love you and I appreciate you" at any point during the year and then expect a drugstore card and some flowers are going to cover you for the year? Um, not so much. Why aren't you telling your loved ones this stuff everyday, especially considering how fragile life is and how quickly it can all change.
Plus, everything becomes so cliche. Roses, a card, and a heart shaped box of chocolates have become the standard gift. Red and pink everything. Dinner is a requirement. The increase in marriage proposals. (*Note to any potential future husband for me: DON'T propose on Valentine's Day, or any other holiday for that matter. I'll be unimpressed with your lack of originality in picking a day to propose.)
But then......
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Making that statement is like one of the many "anonymous" meetings (like Shoppers Anonymous, Gambler's Anonymous, etc): you've denied this fact about yourself and tried to hide it from others and finally you know you can't lie to yourself or anyone else anymore and have to come clean about who you are.
But really, the movies I watched as a child (looking your way there Disney), fairy tales I read, things on tv during my formative years (which were probably things most 5 year olds were not watching, but whatever) pointed me in the path that there is such a thing as true love and soul mates. Heck, I'm even astrologically destined to have this sort of mindset, being a Pisces, which is the most dreamy minded sign when it comes to the idea of love.
Yes, I put on the front of dislike of Valentine's Day because that's what single people do. But really, I can't help but secretly wish to be on the other side of it all. I would love to get a cliche card, heart shaped box of chocolate, roses, and/or jewelry. I want to have a guy in my life and to know love and have it be real.
In all honesty, I was fine today. I wasn't thinking about it being anything other than a regular day at work, just with an increase of people buying sparkling wines and champagnes and increase particularly in men buying last minute cards. And then I went home, and suddenly, it hurt just a little and I started to tear up a bit watching "Glee" as they celebrated love.
If you are a friend and reading this, don't think you suddenly have to hide any good thing about your own relationship from me for fear of hurting my feelings. I'm not broken and sad. Quite opposite in fact. I don't think about being single as defining my life or anything. It takes time to get it right and find a good one and I'd rather be single and searching for the right one than wasting time with someone that treats me bad or just wants to use me or is just completely wrong for me just because I want to be in a relationship. If I had wanted that, I could have kept dating the Mr. Wrong I went out with months ago. I'm focusing on me and doing what I want and seeing what happens along the way and am extremely happy for those that have found a good one and are happy together. If anything, share the joy because it gives hopeless romantics out there glimmers of hope that we too will find that happiness.
And just so you all know, I love and appreciate you all and want you to know this, even though it's no longer Valentine's Day. Sorry I didn't get a card to let you know. ; )
Yes, it is a commercialized holiday in which this is the one day to tell people how much you love them, never mind the other 364 days of the year. I mean seriously, do you just keep it to yourself and never say "I love you and I appreciate you" at any point during the year and then expect a drugstore card and some flowers are going to cover you for the year? Um, not so much. Why aren't you telling your loved ones this stuff everyday, especially considering how fragile life is and how quickly it can all change.
Plus, everything becomes so cliche. Roses, a card, and a heart shaped box of chocolates have become the standard gift. Red and pink everything. Dinner is a requirement. The increase in marriage proposals. (*Note to any potential future husband for me: DON'T propose on Valentine's Day, or any other holiday for that matter. I'll be unimpressed with your lack of originality in picking a day to propose.)
But then......
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Making that statement is like one of the many "anonymous" meetings (like Shoppers Anonymous, Gambler's Anonymous, etc): you've denied this fact about yourself and tried to hide it from others and finally you know you can't lie to yourself or anyone else anymore and have to come clean about who you are.
But really, the movies I watched as a child (looking your way there Disney), fairy tales I read, things on tv during my formative years (which were probably things most 5 year olds were not watching, but whatever) pointed me in the path that there is such a thing as true love and soul mates. Heck, I'm even astrologically destined to have this sort of mindset, being a Pisces, which is the most dreamy minded sign when it comes to the idea of love.
Yes, I put on the front of dislike of Valentine's Day because that's what single people do. But really, I can't help but secretly wish to be on the other side of it all. I would love to get a cliche card, heart shaped box of chocolate, roses, and/or jewelry. I want to have a guy in my life and to know love and have it be real.
In all honesty, I was fine today. I wasn't thinking about it being anything other than a regular day at work, just with an increase of people buying sparkling wines and champagnes and increase particularly in men buying last minute cards. And then I went home, and suddenly, it hurt just a little and I started to tear up a bit watching "Glee" as they celebrated love.
If you are a friend and reading this, don't think you suddenly have to hide any good thing about your own relationship from me for fear of hurting my feelings. I'm not broken and sad. Quite opposite in fact. I don't think about being single as defining my life or anything. It takes time to get it right and find a good one and I'd rather be single and searching for the right one than wasting time with someone that treats me bad or just wants to use me or is just completely wrong for me just because I want to be in a relationship. If I had wanted that, I could have kept dating the Mr. Wrong I went out with months ago. I'm focusing on me and doing what I want and seeing what happens along the way and am extremely happy for those that have found a good one and are happy together. If anything, share the joy because it gives hopeless romantics out there glimmers of hope that we too will find that happiness.
And just so you all know, I love and appreciate you all and want you to know this, even though it's no longer Valentine's Day. Sorry I didn't get a card to let you know. ; )
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Back from another blogcation
I, once again, took a very long blogcation after claiming I was going to blog more. What else is new? But the year isn't over so I have time to make up for that.
Is it just me, or did 2011 go by really fast? I'm almost hitting my year mark of working at my job. How did that happen? I was hired as seasonal and they kept me, so that was nice. I mean it's not the dream job, but it's a job that I can pay my lovely student loans with, so I can't complain. I like my coworkers and supervisors, customers can be iffy though. They can get mean and defensive and pissed off at the dumbest things, such as the man that said we were cheating him of money by not giving him the member price on wine, even though when I verified the receipt after they put their phone number in, it showed that he was, in fact, getting the sale price. I repeatedly pointed this out and he said I was wrong and forget it he didn't want any of it and stormed out. He was fun. Or the woman that used a coupon, then when she came to return it was mad she wasn't getting the full amount back, which I said 'You used a coupon, so it takes money off all items you buy.' She continued her rant of us screwing her out of money she was getting back on the items. I pointed out she was getting back what she paid for it, but apparently we were screwing her out of money still. I very well could have badged it and modified the price, but if I go up there and you are defensive and yelling at me the moment I come up to assess the situation, then I'm not going to go out of my way for you. If you are being nice, calm, rational, then I'll see what I can do for you. Basic manners go a long way with this retail worker.
But anyway, a lot has happened this year thus far, good and bad. I'll update more later (and if I forget again, bug me about it) but for now I have to go get ready for work.
Is it just me, or did 2011 go by really fast? I'm almost hitting my year mark of working at my job. How did that happen? I was hired as seasonal and they kept me, so that was nice. I mean it's not the dream job, but it's a job that I can pay my lovely student loans with, so I can't complain. I like my coworkers and supervisors, customers can be iffy though. They can get mean and defensive and pissed off at the dumbest things, such as the man that said we were cheating him of money by not giving him the member price on wine, even though when I verified the receipt after they put their phone number in, it showed that he was, in fact, getting the sale price. I repeatedly pointed this out and he said I was wrong and forget it he didn't want any of it and stormed out. He was fun. Or the woman that used a coupon, then when she came to return it was mad she wasn't getting the full amount back, which I said 'You used a coupon, so it takes money off all items you buy.' She continued her rant of us screwing her out of money she was getting back on the items. I pointed out she was getting back what she paid for it, but apparently we were screwing her out of money still. I very well could have badged it and modified the price, but if I go up there and you are defensive and yelling at me the moment I come up to assess the situation, then I'm not going to go out of my way for you. If you are being nice, calm, rational, then I'll see what I can do for you. Basic manners go a long way with this retail worker.
But anyway, a lot has happened this year thus far, good and bad. I'll update more later (and if I forget again, bug me about it) but for now I have to go get ready for work.
Monday, January 03, 2011
Goodbye 2010!
Wow. How is 2010 already over? It seems like it was just January. An even bigger question is how has it been 10 years into 2000? I heard radio stations say they were doing countdown hits of the last DECADE, which is crazy to think as well. Just 10 years ago at this time people were freaking out about the notorious Y2K, which as we all know, didn't happen. Lots of history in the past 10 years, but for now, let's just focus on 2010 for my annual year end review. Normally I spend my New Year's Eve doing this post, but I have work all day then who knows what, so this is late, but whatever. Here it goes!
January 2010:
Big month for me. I got a car. I started a new job. I started doing P90x workouts. And, of course, began my final semester at SDSU, which is honestly what I have deemed my laziest semester ever in terms classes, but not work...well ok, some slacking on classwork for one class due to the significant amount of work for another.
February:
Significant month for me personally and I could still tell you in very specific detail everything that went on (get your head out of the gutter, it's nothing bad), but it's stuff I'd rather not share with the world and have already told those in my life I wish to share it with. Also this month, I worked quite a bit and met some interesting people, both in and out of work. Also went to my first NACE meeting and met some really nice people there. I'm bummed that I wasn't able to go to the meetings the rest of the semester, but school and work consumed my world in the following months.
March:
I turned 22! Had an amazing, crazy birthday with my equally amazing and crazy friends. It was nice because my 1 class on Monday nights (which my actual birthday was on a Monday, though I celebrated with Taco Tuesday the next day) ended up being canceled that day, so I was able to hang out with my roomies and just have a really relaxing night. Went to Las Vegas for the annual HTMSA Vegas Trip. Got to tour more hotels, go to 2 nightclubs (XS in Encore because it's awesome and probably my favorite club in Vegas, and Prive in Planet Hollywood, where we stayed) and just have a fun bonding time on the road trip out there. My car and I stayed an extra night and went to Mandalay Bay, however weather and our tired selves prevented us from really doing anything that extra night other than hang out in the massive suite the boys talked their way into getting an upgrade for and listen to music and drink just at the hotel.
April:
Walked the MS walk for the 3rd year with Paul, Cyndi and their friend Angela. It was cool weather so it made for a nice walk, and gave us time to talk, which is always nice. Projects began to consume my life, as it was the last month before finals the first weeks of May, so it was a lot of group meetings that I squeezed in with work and classes. Plus I was the chair of a committee for MESA's VMA awards, so was working on getting sponsors for our raffle and prizes for the VMA winners.
May:
Yet another big month in my life. Completed my final project ever for HTM, which was a business plan for Sea World, where we created a Downtown Disney-like area for Sea World, and created businesses and used existing companies that would be eco-friendly and supporting of wildlife. Took my finals. Went to HTM's Grad Nite, which was super crazy. It was a really fun night and interesting how things turned out. Took a stand for myself personally, which is rare and has made my friends proud of me for doing that, even if the results weren't what I was hoping for. On May 22, I GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was bittersweet. It's nice not to have tests and all that anymore, but at the same time, I miss my friends, and seeing them everyday.
June:
Started it living in a 4 bedroom house all alone with no furniture. I sound like a squatter, which essentially I suppose I was. I had to be down there to clean the house, plus I had some interviews and had a concert to go to, so I stayed alone even though all roomies were gone and my parents came and took my furniture away. It was weird and eerie. I don't recommend it, because creaks in the house seem 10x louder. June 3rd I went to the Tim McGraw/Lady Antebellum concert with some friends, then on the 4th, spent a last day in SD with my friend Laura as I was leaving to go back home to the parents and she was moving to Boston. Stayed in SD til late that night then made the drive home that seemed so much longer than usual. June 17th I headed back to SD for Ebony & Malcolm's wedding. Hannah flew in for a girls weekend with Jamie and I, so attended the wedding and we got to have a good girls weekend after.
July:
Parents went on vacation and left me home alone pet/house sitting, and of course when they were gone we had our first heat wave of the year, and by the time they came back it wasn't as hot. Got to spend an evening with elementary school friends. Crazy to think that it's been almost 10 years since we've been out of Marguerita and yet we still get together at least once a year and catch up. Went to see Cayla in Calabasas for a few days. Ended the month taking a spontaneous trip (they always are) to Fresno with Jamie to see Hannah.
August:
Kind of a slow month. Had an interview I thought had gone really well, but ended up not getting it. Had a few crazy nights down in SD with friends.
September:
Went to Santa Cruz for Labor Day with Mom for a girls weekend. Had a few weekends in SD, helping Paul & Cyndi with a garage sale. Got to experience worst heat wave ever. 99 degrees at 10am in SD was not fun, and in LA apparently it was record breaking, the previous record being 20 years before when our house was being worked on.
October:
Parents left me once again, this time heading to Massena, New York to visit some of Dad's side of the family. They also got to meet their 2 new great-nephews, as two of my cousins had babies in August and September. I also took this month to start looking for seasonal jobs since I wasn't having any luck getting something in the industry.
November:
Started out sadly for the family, but prayers and time are helping to heal. On the 17th I had an interview for a job I had applied for weeks before at Cost Plus World Market in Pasadena, was hired on the spot and started on the 21st. It was rough at first, given that I started on the busiest day and right before Thanksgiving, but it got easier, as jobs do. I have really great co-workers and managers, so all is good. This year was also the first Thanksgiving fully done by Mom making the turkey. It turned out well, but if she wanted to make another turkey before next year to keep in practice, I wouldn't object.
December:
Made trips to SD the first 2 Tuesdays of the month to see Laura, visiting from Boston. It was wonderful to see her and meet her boyfriend when he came out the second week. Had some girl time with Laura and Leslie the second week. The rest of the month was just me working. I barely had time to Christmas shop even, so everyone got something from work as a Christmas gift. Even though it's after Christmas, I'm still working 5 days a week, which is nice. I like who I work with, so as long as they keep scheduling me I'll go. I recently saw a post for a job that would be 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, and am thinking that if I get it, to still try and work at World Market a few nights a week. At this point, having some extra money doesn't hurt me any, as I have student loans to start paying back and saving money is always a good idea. For New Year's Eve, after I got off work, I went and spent time at Nasrin's house and hung out with people she had over and rung in the new year.
So that's it for 2010. I'm excited to see what 2011 has in store for us all. Here's to hoping there's a lot of good things to come this year.
*Sorry for lack of pics...I was on my netbook, so my pics aren't on here...I'll add some later haha
January 2010:
Big month for me. I got a car. I started a new job. I started doing P90x workouts. And, of course, began my final semester at SDSU, which is honestly what I have deemed my laziest semester ever in terms classes, but not work...well ok, some slacking on classwork for one class due to the significant amount of work for another.
February:
Significant month for me personally and I could still tell you in very specific detail everything that went on (get your head out of the gutter, it's nothing bad), but it's stuff I'd rather not share with the world and have already told those in my life I wish to share it with. Also this month, I worked quite a bit and met some interesting people, both in and out of work. Also went to my first NACE meeting and met some really nice people there. I'm bummed that I wasn't able to go to the meetings the rest of the semester, but school and work consumed my world in the following months.
March:
I turned 22! Had an amazing, crazy birthday with my equally amazing and crazy friends. It was nice because my 1 class on Monday nights (which my actual birthday was on a Monday, though I celebrated with Taco Tuesday the next day) ended up being canceled that day, so I was able to hang out with my roomies and just have a really relaxing night. Went to Las Vegas for the annual HTMSA Vegas Trip. Got to tour more hotels, go to 2 nightclubs (XS in Encore because it's awesome and probably my favorite club in Vegas, and Prive in Planet Hollywood, where we stayed) and just have a fun bonding time on the road trip out there. My car and I stayed an extra night and went to Mandalay Bay, however weather and our tired selves prevented us from really doing anything that extra night other than hang out in the massive suite the boys talked their way into getting an upgrade for and listen to music and drink just at the hotel.
April:
Walked the MS walk for the 3rd year with Paul, Cyndi and their friend Angela. It was cool weather so it made for a nice walk, and gave us time to talk, which is always nice. Projects began to consume my life, as it was the last month before finals the first weeks of May, so it was a lot of group meetings that I squeezed in with work and classes. Plus I was the chair of a committee for MESA's VMA awards, so was working on getting sponsors for our raffle and prizes for the VMA winners.
May:
Yet another big month in my life. Completed my final project ever for HTM, which was a business plan for Sea World, where we created a Downtown Disney-like area for Sea World, and created businesses and used existing companies that would be eco-friendly and supporting of wildlife. Took my finals. Went to HTM's Grad Nite, which was super crazy. It was a really fun night and interesting how things turned out. Took a stand for myself personally, which is rare and has made my friends proud of me for doing that, even if the results weren't what I was hoping for. On May 22, I GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was bittersweet. It's nice not to have tests and all that anymore, but at the same time, I miss my friends, and seeing them everyday.
June:
Started it living in a 4 bedroom house all alone with no furniture. I sound like a squatter, which essentially I suppose I was. I had to be down there to clean the house, plus I had some interviews and had a concert to go to, so I stayed alone even though all roomies were gone and my parents came and took my furniture away. It was weird and eerie. I don't recommend it, because creaks in the house seem 10x louder. June 3rd I went to the Tim McGraw/Lady Antebellum concert with some friends, then on the 4th, spent a last day in SD with my friend Laura as I was leaving to go back home to the parents and she was moving to Boston. Stayed in SD til late that night then made the drive home that seemed so much longer than usual. June 17th I headed back to SD for Ebony & Malcolm's wedding. Hannah flew in for a girls weekend with Jamie and I, so attended the wedding and we got to have a good girls weekend after.
July:
Parents went on vacation and left me home alone pet/house sitting, and of course when they were gone we had our first heat wave of the year, and by the time they came back it wasn't as hot. Got to spend an evening with elementary school friends. Crazy to think that it's been almost 10 years since we've been out of Marguerita and yet we still get together at least once a year and catch up. Went to see Cayla in Calabasas for a few days. Ended the month taking a spontaneous trip (they always are) to Fresno with Jamie to see Hannah.
August:
Kind of a slow month. Had an interview I thought had gone really well, but ended up not getting it. Had a few crazy nights down in SD with friends.
September:
Went to Santa Cruz for Labor Day with Mom for a girls weekend. Had a few weekends in SD, helping Paul & Cyndi with a garage sale. Got to experience worst heat wave ever. 99 degrees at 10am in SD was not fun, and in LA apparently it was record breaking, the previous record being 20 years before when our house was being worked on.
October:
Parents left me once again, this time heading to Massena, New York to visit some of Dad's side of the family. They also got to meet their 2 new great-nephews, as two of my cousins had babies in August and September. I also took this month to start looking for seasonal jobs since I wasn't having any luck getting something in the industry.
November:
Started out sadly for the family, but prayers and time are helping to heal. On the 17th I had an interview for a job I had applied for weeks before at Cost Plus World Market in Pasadena, was hired on the spot and started on the 21st. It was rough at first, given that I started on the busiest day and right before Thanksgiving, but it got easier, as jobs do. I have really great co-workers and managers, so all is good. This year was also the first Thanksgiving fully done by Mom making the turkey. It turned out well, but if she wanted to make another turkey before next year to keep in practice, I wouldn't object.
December:
Made trips to SD the first 2 Tuesdays of the month to see Laura, visiting from Boston. It was wonderful to see her and meet her boyfriend when he came out the second week. Had some girl time with Laura and Leslie the second week. The rest of the month was just me working. I barely had time to Christmas shop even, so everyone got something from work as a Christmas gift. Even though it's after Christmas, I'm still working 5 days a week, which is nice. I like who I work with, so as long as they keep scheduling me I'll go. I recently saw a post for a job that would be 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, and am thinking that if I get it, to still try and work at World Market a few nights a week. At this point, having some extra money doesn't hurt me any, as I have student loans to start paying back and saving money is always a good idea. For New Year's Eve, after I got off work, I went and spent time at Nasrin's house and hung out with people she had over and rung in the new year.
So that's it for 2010. I'm excited to see what 2011 has in store for us all. Here's to hoping there's a lot of good things to come this year.
*Sorry for lack of pics...I was on my netbook, so my pics aren't on here...I'll add some later haha
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Wall of Sleep
I like staying up late, there's just one problem with that. I hit my Wall of Sleep. It's started coming earlier now that I'm working. I'm totally fine one minute, then I get hit with exhaustion and fall fast asleep, usually with my computer on and on my lap.
This used to happen in high school a lot. I'd be at the computer working on something and get tired so I'd walk away, go take a little cat nap, then go back and work more. Sometimes I was refreshed and could go on, but other times I was completely useless on getting anything done after the nap. The same goes now. Sometimes when I wake up, I'm awake and have to read for a bit before going back to sleep, and others I am so tired I don't even want to move from the couch to go to bed, or get out of my bed to go turn off the light or take my makeup off.
The wall of sleep has also almost made me miss the blog deadline in November during the post a day challenge.
Actually, after writing about this, I am starting to feel kind of sleepy...I might be hitting my wall soon..
Goodnight...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
This used to happen in high school a lot. I'd be at the computer working on something and get tired so I'd walk away, go take a little cat nap, then go back and work more. Sometimes I was refreshed and could go on, but other times I was completely useless on getting anything done after the nap. The same goes now. Sometimes when I wake up, I'm awake and have to read for a bit before going back to sleep, and others I am so tired I don't even want to move from the couch to go to bed, or get out of my bed to go turn off the light or take my makeup off.
The wall of sleep has also almost made me miss the blog deadline in November during the post a day challenge.
Actually, after writing about this, I am starting to feel kind of sleepy...I might be hitting my wall soon..
Goodnight...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
December Again
How is that possible? Where the heck did 2010 go???
I haven't figured it out yet, so if you have a clue, please let me know. I feel like it was just December 2009. Interesting month that was. Memorable, in a good way...well minus a handful of days/nights that I would rather forget about. But the majority of it was awesome and I'd love to go back to it. Only because it would also mean I'd get to then re-live 2010.
Guess I'll just have to go back to December 2009 and all of 2010 through memories and pictures. Can't wait to see what December 2010 has in store for me.
I haven't figured it out yet, so if you have a clue, please let me know. I feel like it was just December 2009. Interesting month that was. Memorable, in a good way...well minus a handful of days/nights that I would rather forget about. But the majority of it was awesome and I'd love to go back to it. Only because it would also mean I'd get to then re-live 2010.
Guess I'll just have to go back to December 2009 and all of 2010 through memories and pictures. Can't wait to see what December 2010 has in store for me.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Helping Hand
I wish I was settled. I know, you are probably thinking 'How much more settled do you need to be? You have a job and place to live.'
Well, yes, but the job is seasonal, and currently a lot of my stuff is still in a storage unit in San Diego. So for all I know, come January I will be right back where I was 2 weeks ago.
The reason I really want to get a permanent job somewhere is because I want to volunteer places. There's a lot of non-profits I would love to get involved with, like Make-a-Wish, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and potentially hospital volunteering. I suppose you are wondering why I didn't do any of this stuff while I was jobless all those months since graduation. It's because all of these places want commitment, which at this point and for the past few months, I can't do. I don't want to sign up and get involved and then end up getting a job somewhere else and have to move and then break off the commitment I made with the organization.
Hopefully the with the new year coming I will get a better idea of what's going to happen with me so I can go back to volunteering since it's something I miss doing. In high school I spent the early afternoons of Thanksgiving working with Union Station in Pasadena for their annual Thanksgiving in the Park, serving Thanksgiving lunch to homeless and needy families of the community. There was always a lot of volunteers, each getting a shift serving food, all of which was donated. There was always tons of food and the people we were serving were extremely appreciative that we were there providing them a good meal. As this year's holiday season rolls around and I see toy drives for needy children and groups getting things to send to the troops and all I want to do is give to all of them. I don't really have money to be buying a lot of stuff to give, but I would like to try at least and give something. Open your hearts this season and lend a helping hand if you can with food/clothing/toy donations.
Well, yes, but the job is seasonal, and currently a lot of my stuff is still in a storage unit in San Diego. So for all I know, come January I will be right back where I was 2 weeks ago.
The reason I really want to get a permanent job somewhere is because I want to volunteer places. There's a lot of non-profits I would love to get involved with, like Make-a-Wish, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and potentially hospital volunteering. I suppose you are wondering why I didn't do any of this stuff while I was jobless all those months since graduation. It's because all of these places want commitment, which at this point and for the past few months, I can't do. I don't want to sign up and get involved and then end up getting a job somewhere else and have to move and then break off the commitment I made with the organization.
Hopefully the with the new year coming I will get a better idea of what's going to happen with me so I can go back to volunteering since it's something I miss doing. In high school I spent the early afternoons of Thanksgiving working with Union Station in Pasadena for their annual Thanksgiving in the Park, serving Thanksgiving lunch to homeless and needy families of the community. There was always a lot of volunteers, each getting a shift serving food, all of which was donated. There was always tons of food and the people we were serving were extremely appreciative that we were there providing them a good meal. As this year's holiday season rolls around and I see toy drives for needy children and groups getting things to send to the troops and all I want to do is give to all of them. I don't really have money to be buying a lot of stuff to give, but I would like to try at least and give something. Open your hearts this season and lend a helping hand if you can with food/clothing/toy donations.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Mood Radio
My friend shared a website with me last night that has playlists based on your emotional mood. StereoMood has a lot of different types of playlists to choose from. Some of the playlists like "Groovy" or "Classic" you can probably guess the kinds of songs you'll hear on them. But others, like "Road Trip", "Dreamy", or "It's Raining" it's anyone's guess as to what's on them. Check it out, and maybe you'll find some new good songs. I have a feeling that after I listen to some of the playlists I'll have a whole list of songs that I'll want to get on my iPod.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
"Tale as old as time..."
"Beauty and the Beast" is, in my opinion, the best Disney movie. I put it on on Thanksgiving after everyone had left. There are no flaws in it, other than seeming to be over too soon. There's a lot one can learn from this movie.
1. Don't be mean and cruel to others, because they might turn you into a hideous beast.
2. Reading is good.
3. Don't judge someone at first look, get to know the person inside.
4. It's okay to be unique.
I love when Belle is mending the wounds of Beast and she's thanking him for saving her from the wolves, but they have a little argument.
Good for Belle to sassing the Beast. That was their little breakthrough that led them from being cross with one another to falling in love.
There's so much to love about this movie. If you haven't seen it or it's been awhile since you've seen it, I suggest watching it soon. It's a true classic, and the only Disney animated film to be nominated for Best Picture for an Oscar.
1. Don't be mean and cruel to others, because they might turn you into a hideous beast.
2. Reading is good.
3. Don't judge someone at first look, get to know the person inside.
4. It's okay to be unique.
I love when Belle is mending the wounds of Beast and she's thanking him for saving her from the wolves, but they have a little argument.
Good for Belle to sassing the Beast. That was their little breakthrough that led them from being cross with one another to falling in love.
There's so much to love about this movie. If you haven't seen it or it's been awhile since you've seen it, I suggest watching it soon. It's a true classic, and the only Disney animated film to be nominated for Best Picture for an Oscar.
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