Valentine's Explanation

So I owe it to everyone to come clean on my feelings on Valentine's Day.

Yes, it is a commercialized holiday in which this is the one day to tell people how much you love them, never mind the other 364 days of the year. I mean seriously, do you just keep it to yourself and never say "I love you and I appreciate you" at any point during the year and then expect a drugstore card and some flowers are going to cover you for the year? Um, not so much. Why aren't you telling your loved ones this stuff everyday, especially considering how fragile life is and how quickly it can all change.

Plus, everything becomes so cliche. Roses, a card, and a heart shaped box of chocolates have become the standard gift. Red and pink everything. Dinner is a requirement. The increase in marriage proposals. (*Note to any potential future husband for me: DON'T propose on Valentine's Day, or any other holiday for that matter. I'll be unimpressed with your lack of originality in picking a day to propose.)

But then......

I'm a hopeless romantic.

Making that statement is like one of the many "anonymous" meetings (like Shoppers Anonymous, Gambler's Anonymous, etc): you've denied this fact about yourself and tried to hide it from others and finally you know you can't lie to yourself or anyone else anymore and have to come clean about who you are.

But really, the movies I watched as a child (looking your way there Disney), fairy tales I read, things on tv during my formative years (which were probably things most 5 year olds were not watching, but whatever) pointed me in the path that there is such a thing as true love and soul mates. Heck, I'm even astrologically destined to have this sort of mindset, being a Pisces, which is the most dreamy minded sign when it comes to the idea of love.

Yes, I put on the front of dislike of Valentine's Day because that's what single people do. But really, I can't help but secretly wish to be on the other side of it all. I would love to get a cliche card, heart shaped box of chocolate, roses, and/or jewelry. I want to have a guy in my life and to know love and have it be real.

In all honesty, I was fine today. I wasn't thinking about it being anything other than a regular day at work, just with an increase of people buying sparkling wines and champagnes and increase particularly in men buying last minute cards. And then I went home, and suddenly, it hurt just a little and I started to tear up a bit watching "Glee" as they celebrated love.

If you are a friend and reading this, don't think you suddenly have to hide any good thing about your own relationship from me for fear of hurting my feelings. I'm not broken and sad. Quite opposite in fact. I don't think about being single as defining my life or anything. It takes time to get it right and find a good one and I'd rather be single and searching for the right one than wasting time with someone that treats me bad or just wants to use me or is just completely wrong for me just because I want to be in a relationship. If I had wanted that, I could have kept dating the Mr. Wrong I went out with months ago. I'm focusing on me and doing what I want and seeing what happens along the way and am extremely happy for those that have found a good one and are happy together. If anything, share the joy because it gives hopeless romantics out there glimmers of hope that we too will find that happiness.

And just so you all know, I love and appreciate you all and want you to know this, even though it's no longer Valentine's Day. Sorry I didn't get a card to let you know. ; )